My friend and I had a conversation recently where we discovered that we were growing through the gift of loneliness. We both had very fulfilling careers in healthcare and the blessing and joy of working with wonderful people who loved working together to care for people. When new leadership was appointed, our positions were eliminated. Not at the same time, but the facts were that we felt the same feeling of being kicked to the curb after enjoying a commitment to our calling. The loss of being part of a mission driven team created a void in our lives that was deeply painful. We each tried to cover up our loneliness by staying busy, but the truth was when the busyness ended, we were lonely. The fulfilment we had in making a difference in people’s lives with our team was gone. This sense of loss can happen over and over in life due to different situations. It may be from empty nest, moving to another place and leaving friends behind, the loss of a loved one, retirement and even the isolation from COVID.
Whenever we feel lonely, it is vital to identify the source of loneliness. Loneliness is painful and we are inclined either to run away from the feeling or to dwell in it. Running away does not really diminish it; rather simply forces it out of your mind temporarily. When you start dwelling in it, our feelings only become stronger, and there is a danger of slipping into depression.
God loves us and is, “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1. He is our friend and does not want us to avoid loneliness or let ourselves drown in it, rather to find its source. This is not easy to do, but when we identify the place when these feelings emerged, it can begin to lose the power it has over us. The identification process is not an intellectual activity. It is a willingness to lean into the feeling and search with all our heart to discover where and when the loneliness began. As we ask the Holy Spirit to help, we will discern something about ourselves. Often the Holy Spirit leads us into finding that loneliness is linked to our call to live completely for God. At the core of our loneliness, we will experience His guiding us to a better place and a significant relationship with Him. Once we experience this, we will find our loneliness has an opportunity to birth a more fruitful life. What was painful turns into a sense of being God’s precious child. There will be a new understanding of what He has been working out all along in the great plan He has for us.
So where are my friend and I today? My friend is building on all she learned in her pathway prior to the pain. God’s plan in her life is amazing for her now. As for me, He is leading me into what I have dreamed of doing most of my adult life. It is helping people discover Jesus’ great love and His creative plan for their lives.