Philippians 4:13 (NKJV): “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Romans 8:28 (NKJV): “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
I want to share with you that YOUR STORY MATTERS! In our world there are voices that may make us question this. By sharing my story, I hope to encourage you wherever you are in your story so that you may know that God has you and that you matter.
“For He formed your inward parts; you were knitted together in your mother’s womb.
Praise God for you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (See Psalm 139:13-14a)
Beautiful Characteristics God Created in You
I’d like you take a minute and write down one or two beautiful gifts and or talents God knitted in you that are part of your story. Hold on to these beautiful qualities. They are important in your story.
My first memory
Do you ever think back on your very first memory from when you were a child? It is interesting because it might give you a some insight into who you are and what is important to you from your story. My first memory from my childhood was when we were at a Billy Graham tent meeting. I was four years old. I asked my mother if I could ask Jesus into my heart. She and I went to a smaller tent and knelt and I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart. For me it is a precious memory.
A Life Changing Development
A little while later my sister was diagnosed with polio. We took her to the hospital. Mom stayed with her. Dad and I went home. The next day a man came to our home and posted a quarantine sign. No one was to come in or go out. It seemed like forever to be stuck in the house and I was afraid. By God’s grace, my sister lived and was not paralyzed. The day we all went to pick her up to come home from the hospital I waited in the waiting room. Then I saw a nurse dressed in a crisp white cap and uniform wheeling my sister in towards me in a tiny wheelchair. I was so excited to see Debbie! I wanted to play, but the nurse said, “Jessie, Debbie is very weak. You are her big sister and your mommy will need your help.” The nurse showed me how to help Debbie walk. Her legs were so wobbly. At home, I took great pride in being Mommy’s helper. Being like that kind nurse in her crisp uniform became my goal for life - even at 4 years of age. I wanted to be a nurse. My sister needed me to be with her and my parents made me feel so valued when I helped. These memories never left me. My sister’s weakness was frightening and separation from my mother was difficult, but it left me with a desire to help people who are weaker than me.
New House, New Church
A few months later, when I was 5-years-old, my dad told me we were moving to a new house and new church. It sounded exciting. Our move went smoothly. I made new friends and Debbie was fun to play with again. I started kindergarten. I loved school and all the socialization. However, it got hard for me to get a good grades in the second grade. I had a teacher who I did not think liked me. I began to get bad marks on my papers. I tried being the “good girl” and help her, but she did not focus on my personality but rather on my work. My parents told me, “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing right.” I worked hard but when it came to reading, spelling, and writing hard work just didn’t get it done. Thank goodness for fingers because with them I could do addition and subtraction. But reading was tough. My parents noticed I could memorize things well, so they worked to help me with spelling and reading.
God’s plan for my life began to unfold: Hard Work and Tenacity
The teacher had a weekly assignment to write a paragraph about something in general. The best paper was posted on a special wall for the week. I wanted to have my paper up there but, week after week, I received a C or D on my papers. Having a deep desire to succeed I set a goal. I would find a way to get my paper up on the board! Being visual, I decided I would write about a pussy willow and attach a real pussy to my paper. I told my family. They, of course, wanted to see me be successful, so they proofread my paper and helped me get the spelling correct. I had been taught the verse, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” - Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) in Sunday school so I kept saying it over and over to myself. The day came to turn this paper in. I was anxious to see if it would be on the wall. I ran to the classroom the next day and there it was! Finally, success!
After that experience, I did my best. I made flash cards and memorized things and got my sister to help me with spelling. However, I was a very average ‘C’ student and fifth grade was even worse. My first report card had ‘Fs’ on it. I had also gained a lot of weight, so I was the “fat dumb kid.” My parents did not know how to help me. One day I heard them spell: “Should we send her away to a school to help her?” I asked my sister, “What did they spell?” She was younger but she knew and told me. Fear, plus the teasing at school, made a real mark on my psyche. To get kids to like me, I would steal money out of the house and give it to people at school.
I managed to get to the sixth grade and testing for reading groups started. Mr. Fatula caught on to the games I played with myself to learn. He knew I could not read or keep up with the class at the level I needed to do. One day he announced - and I am sure the world heard Him - “Jessie, YOU CAN’T READ and I am going to help you.” Dyslexia was just being discovered and this progressive man knew he could help me. He introduced our family to the series on phonics called “Why Johnny Can’t Read.” It is a method of phonics teaching with materials and instructions for teaching children how to read at home. I recited the work religiously every night. Phonetics gave me hope. I began to improve. If you know how to read, you can improve in many other subjects. God had placed a key person in my life, and all was going well. (“Well” being C’s and few B’s.)
Another Move
After Christmas my father, who was a minister, got a call to move to Brockton, Massachusetts. Everything seemed to go downhill from there. I was just getting and understanding how to read. I gained just enough knowledge to barely get by. That was disastrous. I was so discouraged that people would have to say, “Smile Jessie!” My parents and others tried to help me but did not know how. As I got into high school, I wanted to be respected and enjoy being with peers. Instead, I just pulled away because being with others was just a reminder of how different I was. Every day was a struggle and grades were a constant battle.
Finding Value
The one place I felt I had value was when I was helping others. When I was old enough, I began to babysit and clean houses. I got a job as soon as I turned 16. I got to know the older people in the neighborhood, helped them, visited with them, and played cards with them. They loved me and I helped them with their loneliness. I had joy in working hard and helping others. My parents found things I could do to help in the church. But I hated school. It made me feel stupid.
The Dream: Nursing
Through all of this, I was still determined to become a nurse. But HOW… with the grades I had? This was another battle to face. I applied to three Schools of Nursing. (I learned later that my parents never gave me the denial letters from two schools.) We just prayed that God would help me. I could see how my parents loved me. I think they were as weary of the struggle I was. God made me. Why did He make me stupid? I was fearfully and wonderfully created, right?
Answers to Prayer
Then it happened! God took all my hard work and did a miracle. The year after I graduated from high school, my dad worked with me and, miraculously, I had gained a year of Bible College to lay down the foundation for being a missionary nurse. My grades were average but not what was needed to get into nursing. Miss Ward, a missionary nurse from the denomination where my father pastored, called him. She explained that she was over Admissions at New England Baptist School of Nursing in Boston, the number three school in the nation. She said, “I pray over every person who applies and I sensed God wants Jessie here.” She had approached the faculty to make an exception for me. Although I did not have the grades a student usually had to have to be admitted, they would accept me on probation. They would also provide a faculty member, Miss Duncan, who would work with me, giving support in the things I may struggle with, to see if I could pass. The history I had with people, college, and hard work gave me a chance to be a great nurse. I did need help with Chemistry, but I had developed study tools and they worked in other classes. It was hard, long study hours, lots of note taking and flash cards. “I could do all things through Christ who strengthened me.” As we got into the hospital clinical areas, I was a good nurse. I was also a leader. Through it all, God developed my leadership skills. My scientific knowledge developed through hard work. I loved studying anatomy and physiology. It fascinated me how well the body systems worked together. However, I didn’t realize God had gifted me in the process of leading others. Evidently God was doing things in me that I was not aware of at the time. The nursing school put me on a Student Advisor Curriculum Committee because, as people worked with me, they recognized improvements to make that would assist others in school. I graduated on the Dean’s List!
Working
When I went to work as a nurse, I was on the marketing team for the hospital. Doctors appreciated my efforts to improve patient care and we worked well together. My first year out of school I was Night Supervisor in ICU. The key for this season in my life was that “He had fearfully and wonderfully made me!” He took all my brokenness and turned it into something beautiful. I had a purpose. The first 20 years were hard and, to be truthful, my dyslexia is still hard. I need to return to “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
My Faith Journey
While I was in my senior year of school you would think that - after all the victories - I would have had confidence and that I would be on fire for Christ. No, I had drifted from the Lord in high school and college. I was a little rebellious and loved being part of a peer group that was popular. During the Vietnam War, the youth of our country was experiencing violence, hate, and confusion. At times, young peoples’ parties could get out of hand. One New Year’s Eve, I was at a party and the theme that night was: free love, drugs, and drink all you could before passing out. I did not go to many parties but for some reason I went to this one. I did not take part in all that, but my friends did. At midnight, I thought of my dad who was at church praying in the New Year. I had to get out of there! One of the sweet guys walked me back to my home. I cried in my room and asked Jesus to forgive me for choices I had made. Thankfully the prayers of my wonderful mom and dad were answered. No more parties for me! From that point on I got a new nick name: “Nana,” as I stayed in and studied. And when my party friends came in drunk, I put them to bed.
Why did God allow 20 years of my life to be such a struggle?
The rest of my story has many times of blessings but the endurance I learned as a young woman He used for beauty. Everyone has their hard seasons of life, but what I began to understand is that although tough times, self-doubt, and crushing things do not seem to make sense, God is a master at creating beauty from ashes.
A Change of Direction
So I had graduated (in 1971) and was happily working as a Supervising Nurse in Boston when I got a call from my parents in Minnesota that my mother was ill. She was 48-years-old and had to have a radical mastectomy. As a result, we as a family took a five year journey, like many families who have someone who has a devastating disease. I left my wonderful life in Boston to care for Mom in St. Paul, Minnesota. She was so sick, but what a fighter. In her remaining five years on earth, she planned and attended her three daughters’ weddings. She came to be with me when I had my first son but soon after that she began to have more treatments. The cancer metastasized. She died five years later, the week before Mother’s Day.
In those 5 years I married a wonderful man, Dan Westlund. We were called to ministry and Dan went to seminary. My mom held two of my three sons. I had given up my nursing career because my mother was sick. After she died, my father got sick and had to come live with us. Sometimes ministry can be difficult. Dan needed me to be a full-time mom at home with our three boys and help him in the ministry. Then Dan got very sick with pericarditis. I will be very honest with you. Some days I wondered, “God what are we doing here?” Scripture was very important to me. When my youngest was a baby I had to find a way to have personal time with Jesus. The only time I could find was in the bathtub during his naps. I had a paperback Bible I took with me to my bubble bath. In my quiet place, I read and talked to Jesus, “I love you Jesus. Thank you, but I need your help.” It seemed like there wasn’t even a break from one crisis to another somedays. That time taught me the importance of having a special date with my friend Jesus.
Beautiful Gifts out of Ashes
The story does not end there. Our first pastorate was in youth work. We had a house supplied and Dan made $10,000/year. Even in 1974, that was not a lot and some days we had to trust God for food. When we left that ministry an elder apologized for underpaying us. We learned about beautiful miracles. I do not have time to talk about all of those, but they were amazing. Once again God has a way of putting the seemingly broken pieces and ashes into beauty. We just can’t imagine.
One of the miracles is related to my beautiful crisp white uniform and cap. I had left my dream behind for 16 years. I gave it all up but now our oldest was approaching college years.
One day Dan said, “We need you to go back to nursing.” I laughed, with the response, “I can’t. I don’t have a license.” I confess that Dan had more faith than I did. He said, “You will and someone will help you get your refresher.” I had dyslexia and a refresher course would take me a lot of time.
Then my son’s football coach’s wife called and said, “There is a nursing shortage and we would like you to come work at VNA of NCI Home Care. I laughed and said, “I don’t have a license. I would have to refresh and take the boards again.” She said, “Come to the office and I will introduce you to the CEO. Maybe we can help.” I agreed.
The CEO said, “I want to hire you. I will pay for your refresher and we will have to work on your license.” To be honest, I was skeptical. I remembered that my license was inactive in Minnesota. I called the State Board of Health in Minnesota and told my story. I asked if they would send an active license for the purpose that I would be working in Indiana. Indiana did not require the continuing education credits like Minnesota. They said if the Indiana Board of Health would agree, they would send the active Minnesota license with the requirement that I got a refresher. Miracle! I was amazed when Indiana Board of Nursing called and they had my active license and, if I gave proof of refresher, I would have an Indiana nursing license.
I was a home care nurse and, in a few years, I became CEO of Home Care. It was a miracle. We started a Hospice. In 1998 health care changed and the reimbursement for home cares nationally. These were Medicare and insurance regulations and caused many home cares to close. In fact, 48% did close. To avoid closing the Home Care my board and I looked for a partner to save the organization. We decided to go with Community Health Network. I was sure I would receive severance because the Community Health Network had a home care leader.
I was shocked when Bill Corly, CEO, called me and said, “We would like you to lead the merger and be our Director of Home Care at Community.” Okay, do you follow? ‘Dumb fat kid’ now Director of a Division of Home Care, Hospice, Home IV Infusion, and Home Medical Equipment in one of Central Indiana’s hospital systems? Miracle!
Now, I am not saying everyone goes through times like I did. I am saying that when we love Jesus and trust Him in all things, we go through what seems impossible. “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NKJV)
As a young child God used my challenges to develop me. He did not take me through the path most people do to become a nurse. He creates us all differently and His path has taught me compassion, love, and creativity. My creativity is beautiful because I create beauty by recognizing other people’s gifts and pathways and put them together for God ‘s plan for many.
When I retired from Community, I was a Vice President and I worked with amazing women who were so gifted. Often, because people believed in me, I would, by God’s guidance, see potential in others. I became their “Miss Ward.” God would show me their potential, gifts and talents they did not know they had. God led me to these people. I saw talent grow and teams work together to develop unbelievable ways to care for people. I could never have accomplished the things those ladies did but today many are serving leaders. Some are serving the Lord in the workplace like hospice or developing a horse farm to do therapy with needy people.
Because of my story, I was on the Fortune Academy School in Indianapolis Board in their early years and I support a place for children with learning differences be helped. Today they have elementary through twelfth grade. A couple weeks ago I talked to one of the graduates. He is now a Marine.
Jesus loves people. He may allow us to go through many difficulties but He is a Kingdom Builder. He has a purpose and a plan for each of us. For me, it has been to care for people. In the church I worked with my husband to love and minister to people. The time with my children at home gave me the opportunity to help my son with his dyslexia. Being a stay-at-home mom was precious and I am thankful for that time with them. My life has had mountains to climb and valleys but through it all I have learned to trust Jesus and, when we trust Jesus, we can change our world.
Today
Now I work with Dan in our ministry, Solution for Life. I am also enjoying being part of a wonderful church that gives me opportunities to love and encourage others, pray for them, and see people go deeper with Jesus. My story continues.
You have a beautiful story that Jesus wrote before an egg and sperm met. Is life always easy? No, but be joyful because Jesus came to earth for women like us. And he desires to use you to be Kingdom Builders in your home, neighborhoods, schools, church, and even the world. Your story matters!!!
What are the gifts or talents you wrote down when we started?
Give them all to Jesus and He will make something beautiful in your life. It is exciting when He uses you. He will use you like He did the women at the empty tomb. They believed and were the first evangelists. It is my prayer this will encourage you for God’s glory.
“Jesus works all things for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
Surrender your life to Him. Through all you face He has a beautiful plan for your story.