What has unfolded in our nation over the last five months no one could have imagined. And yet, here we are. The reality is that we have all had losses that have impacted us and if you are like me, you may be thinking, “I don’t know where this is going, but Lord I trust You!” As we face the outcomes of COVID-19 and now the rioting, I pray we will all be open to Christ and His working in our lives. He is speaking, but can we hear Him?
C.S Lewis wrote in the book The Problem with Pain, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” The question is, what is He saying today in our losses and grief? We may be angry, numb, anxious, looking for purpose, bored or hopeless. Take heart; Jesus loves us. “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.” Psalm 62:5
As I have been seeking the Lord in how to love people in these times of loss, I’ve been reminded of a truth that has been part of my life ever since my mother passed away in May of 1977. I remember trying to make sense of why she had to die at the age of 52. She loved Shawn, my oldest son, and he adored his grandma. Stephen was a newborn at that time, and she never met my youngest son, Doug. It was always my desire that my children’s lives be touched by my mother. I wanted them to know her strong, fun-loving personality that glowed with love for Jesus. During my season of grief, I read everything I could get my hands on to make sense of her early home-going and answer the question “why?” To be honest, I still do not know, but what God has taught me over and over is that, without pain, we may miss His wondrous, loving power. Dr. Paul Brand wrote in The Gift Nobody Wants, “I thank God for pain, I cannot think of a greater gift I could give to my leprosy patients. Most people view pain as an enemy…yet, without it, heart attacks, strokes, ruptured appendixes and stomach ulcers would all occur without any warning.” All of these have the capacity to physically kill someone prematurely. Even a piece of dirt in one’s eye, unnoticed, can cause a person to lose their eye. These are examples of the blessing of physical pain. Similarly, God uses the losses we are experiencing today to get our attention and to deepen our personal relationship with Him. I pray many people will come into a personal relationship with Him through this time of pain. I know He is calling out to the world to turn to Him in this pandemic and in the chaos arising in our country. We need Jesus. So, at least part of what’s going on is that God is God and He wants to draw us closer.
Yes, you may be going through a range of emotions and pain just as I did when my mom died. Emotions ranging from anger, hopelessness and denial to a wanting to give up or asking where we go from here. The only solution is to “draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
To help you think through your experience and how Jesus may be reaching out to you, I am including writings from author Sarah Bourns, who is finishing her master of divinity degree at Alliance Theological Seminary in New York City. Sarah has written a couple insightful pieces, one related to the impact that COVID-19 can have on our souls and another giving a glimpse into the process of working through the dark times in life. I pray these will minister to you.
We’ve All Been Exposed
Sarah Bourns
We’ve all been exposed.
Not necessarily to the virus
(maybe…who even knows).
We’ve all been exposed BY the virus.
Corona is exposing us.
Exposing our weak sides
Exposing our dark sides
Exposing what normally lays far beneath the surface of our souls,
hidden by the invisible masks we wear.
Now exposed by the paper masks we can’t hide far enough behind.
Corona is exposing our addiction to comfort.
Our obsession with control
Our compulsion to hoard.
Our protection of self
Corona is peeling back our layers.
Tearing down our walls
Revealing our illusions
Leveling our best-laid plans
Corona is exposing the gods we worship:
Our health
Our hurry
Our sense of security.
Our favorite lies
Our secret lusts
Our misplaced trust.
Corona is calling everything into question:
What is the church without a building?
What is my worth without an income?
How do we plan without certainty?
How do we love despite risk?
Corona is exposing me.
My mindless numbing
My endless scrolling
My careless words
My fragile nerves.
We’ve all been exposed.
Our junk laid bare.
Our fears made known.
The band-aid torn
The masquerade done.
So what now? What’s left?
Clean hands
Clear eyes
Tender hearts.
What Corona reveals, God can heal.
Come Lord Jesus.
Have mercy on us.
Sarah Bourns - Facebook/Instagram @sarahbourns
The Darker the Dirt, the Richer the Soil
Sarah Bourns
It’s true, I googled it—
The most nutrient rich soil is the inky black stuff
thick with manure and compost, worms and decay.
And this? This is where life is planted.
Seeds grow best in the dark, buried deep far from the light of day.
Good things happen in the darkness.
A caterpillar forms wings within the cocoon.
A baby’s heart begins to beat inside the womb.
Spring comes after the long night of winter.
Our bodies revive while we rest.
Hibernation
Incubation
Gestation
Germination
All of these take place in the dark.
It would seem, then, that darkness
is one of the key ingredients
for transformation.
Jesus Himself, the Light of the World, yielded to darkness.
In some of His most profound moments on earth
we find Him up late at night
awake before the dawn
calming grey, stormy seas
praying in a dimly lit garden
hanging under a sunless sky on the cross
lying enclosed in the tomb.
Jesus knows darkness.
Jesus knows waiting.
And He waits
with us
in the dark.
Like seeds, He buries us, in the inky soil of waiting.
And He says, unless a kernel of wheat falls deep into the ground breaks open, and dies
it remains only a single seed.
But, if it waits it will grow roots And those roots, they’ll produce shoots
And those shoots will break ground and they will bring forth much
fruit.
But oh, the long wait
in the stillness of the soil
in the stillness of the soul.
When only then
you really know
just how slow
a seed grows.
And the waiting feels unending
And the questions don’t have answers
And it seems like nothing
is happening
at all.
Take heart.
There is so much more going on in the darkness
under the surface
than your eyes can see just yet.
You’re waiting today.
Your way seems dark.
You feel as though you are being buried
down in the deep.
Jesus is there too, waiting with you.
In the dark night of the soul
In the deep dark of the soil
And sometimes,
He doesn’t turn on the light.
But always, He is with us through the night.
And He says,
Dear one, there’s a depth that comes in the darkness you can’t find any other way.
There’s a peace budding quietly within that sustains you for today.
There’s a beauty hidden in the fog if only you have eyes to see.
There’s a richness buried in the waiting that only time reveals.
And perhaps, what feels like a burial is more of a planting.
And perhaps, what seems like dying will one day be resurrecting.
And perhaps, what looks like darkness is simply the moment before the dawn.
Sarah Bourns - Facebook/Instagram @sarahbourns
Lastly, if you find yourself just wanting to talk about how to walk with Christ in the journey you are facing I am available to talk, or email. Just contact me at sfl@solutionforlife.org or call 317-289-5896 and leave a message for Jessie Westlund and I will be in touch with you.